SIGN IN YOUR ACCOUNT TO HAVE ACCESS TO DIFFERENT FEATURES

FORGOT YOUR PASSWORD?

FORGOT YOUR DETAILS?

AAH, WAIT, I REMEMBER NOW!
Schuitema Group
© 2020. All rights reserved, Schuitema Group.

Schuitema Group

Contact Us: +27 (0) 11 867 0587 | info@schuitemagroup.com
  • MY CART
    No products in cart.
  • What We Do
    • Leadership Excellence
    • Team Excellence
    • Personal Excellence
    • Diagnostics
    • Etsko Speaker
  • Who We Are
    • Our Team
    • Intent Thematic
    • Care and Growth
    • Accreditations
  • Who We Work With
  • Countries
    • Sweden
  • Calendar
  • Events
  • Shop
    • Webinar Tickets
    • Book Sales
  • News
    • Overview
    • Articles
    • Case Studies
    • Videos
    • Podcasts
  • Contact us
Avatar
Schuitema Admin
Wed, 30 Jan 2019 / Published in Articles, Leadership Excellence

Cultivate Accountability in a Victim With These 4 Steps

In previous articles, I have indicated that legitimate leadership based on the Care and Growth of subordinates is ultimately concerned with cultivating the accountability of the subordinate.

The Victim

Often, you come across people who do not accept accountability even if the conditions under which they are being held accountable subscribe to the above criteria. In cases like this, you are dealing with a person who displays the behaviour of a victim. A victim is a person who fundamentally accounts for misfortune in their lives on the basis of what someone else does to them. They feel out of control and at the mercy of forces greater than themselves. Their attention is fundamentally structured around what they are going to get from someone else, rather than what they are doing for them.

It’s important to know that if you want something from someone else, that person’s ability to withhold what you want makes you a target for manipulation. They are strong and you are weak. They have control and you are under their control. Therefore, it means that you do not feel any sense of accountability for what is happening to you. You become reactive to the agenda that the other stipulates. In this sense the other person retains the initiative and the power and you feel like the victim in the situation.

Accountability: Turning A Gripe Into A Goal

Ultimately, responding to things in this way is a habit of thought. This habit will manifest in behaviour which may best be described as griping. Victims tend to gripe with great enthusiasm because it is a means whereby they disclaim any responsibility for what is happening to them.

Dealing with someone who is griping is essentially a counselling skill that is concerned with getting the griper to turn their gripe into a goal.

If you think about it carefully, there is little difference between a gripe statement and a goal statement. In fact, they would both refer to the same objective set of circumstances, except that the statement sounds like a gripe and the other sounds like a goal. For example, I may say that my gripe is that my marriage is failing. If I wanted to turn this gripe into a goal, I would say I want to save my marriage.

The goal statement is therefore not a solution. A solution, for example, would be to go and see a marriage counsellor. However, the intention of this process is not to provide the person with a solution to their problem since this only serves to underscore their helplessness. The aim should be to cultivate their accountability. If I say I am losing my marriage, then this condition of the loss of the marriage is being done to me. However, to say that my goal is to save my marriage then it becomes my project and therefore my accountability.

Typically, a conversation which is aimed at turning a gripe into a goal would go through four phases.

The 4 Steps

Step 1: Listening

In the listening part of the conversation the aim is to understand what the person’s gripe really is. To do this successfully means to restrain the habit of the average manager to instantly provide a solution to the problem that the person is describing. To guard against this, it’s important to remember that this process is not concerned with providing solutions, it is concerned with cultivating accountability. It is therefore important to restrain the impulse to be Mr. Fix It and to allow the person to have their say. Understand that people often do not speak about that which is actually bothering them because they do not quite understand what is wrong. It is therefore important to be patient with this part of the process to all the root issue to become apparent.

The outcome of the listening part of the conversation is to establish a clear and unambiguous statement of what the problem is.

Step 2: Phrasing the Goal

It is important to make sure that the exact same content that is in the gripe statement should be in the goal statement. For example, if my gripe is that I don’t earn enough money then my goal is to earn more money. As soon as the statement sounds like a solution, for example, to get a night job, then the aim of cultivating the accountability of the person is undermined.

Step 3: Brainstorming

The aim of the brainstorming part of the conversation is to establish an action plan whereby the person may achieve their goal. Typically, there would be three elements to this. Firstly, one would encourage the person to explore ways in which they could achieve this goal. The idea is to encourage both sensible and off-the-wall suggestions. Once you agree that all possible means to achieve this goal have been explored the next step would be to edit them order to identify those that would feasibly contribute to achieving the goal. The final step is to sequence the useful ideas into an action plan.

Step 4: Commitment

Having produced an action plan which would result in the griper achieving their goal, it is important to ask the person whether it is worth their while to follow the action plan in order to achieve the goal. It does not matter whether the person accepts the action plan or not, the overall aim of establishing their accountability for the situation that they are in has been established.

For example, if my goal is to save my marriage and in order to do this, I need be kind to the dog, stop drinking, take my wife to the movies and spend time with the kids. If I am asked whether it is worth my while to do these things and I say no, then what I am really saying, is that I have considered the price that I have to pay to save the marriage and I choose not to pay it. I am therefore accountable for the state that I am in.

About the author

Avatar

Schuitema Admin

See author's posts

Share This Article

What you can read next

The Process of Building Teams
Intuitive Leadership
Intuitive Leadership: Dealing with Uncertainty
What is the Millennial Mindset?

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Basket

Categories

  • Latest Articles
  • Business Excellence
  • Leadership Excellence
  • Team Excellence
  • Personal Excellence
  • Case Studies
  • Events

Recent Posts

  • Change Management during Covid-19

    During times of such unprecedented change, what...
  • Dealing with Loss – a step in Personal Development

    “We can discover this meaning of life in three ...
  • Hasnain Razwi – Director Oceania

    About the author Schuitema Admin See author&#03...
  • Power Dynamics in Care & Growth Leadership

    I had the good fortune and pleasure of being ex...
  • What is Authentic Leadership?

    A person’s leadership style is influenced...

Archives

  • Apr 2021
  • Mar 2021
  • Feb 2021
  • Jan 2021
  • Dec 2020
  • Nov 2020
  • Oct 2020
  • Sep 2020
  • Aug 2020
  • Jul 2020
  • Jun 2020
  • May 2020
  • Apr 2020
  • Mar 2020
  • Feb 2020
  • Jan 2020
  • Nov 2019
  • Oct 2019
  • Sep 2019
  • Aug 2019
  • Jul 2019
  • Jun 2019
  • May 2019
  • Apr 2019
  • Mar 2019
  • Feb 2019
  • Jan 2019
  • Dec 2018
  • Nov 2018
  • Sep 2018
  • Jul 2018

 

 

Africa
Phone: +27 (0) 11 867 0587
Asia
Phone: +92 42 3570 1456
Europe
Phone: +46 73 043 56 82
North America
Phone: +1 437 238 7835

Schuitema is a SETA accredited
and Level 2 B-BBEE recognised supplier.

Schuitema - PAIA Manual 2020
Return And Refund Policy - Terms And Conditions

Subscribe and get inspiring articles, useful resources and more right to your inbox!
Recent Articles

  • Change Management during Covid-19

  • Dealing with Loss – a step in Personal Development

  • Hasnain Razwi – Director Oceania

  • Power Dynamics in Care & Growth Leadership

  • What is Authentic Leadership?

  • Leadership in the Age of Diversity and Inclusion

Need more information?
Sign up to our Newsletter
TOP