SIGN IN YOUR ACCOUNT TO HAVE ACCESS TO DIFFERENT FEATURES

FORGOT YOUR PASSWORD?

FORGOT YOUR DETAILS?

AAH, WAIT, I REMEMBER NOW!
Schuitema Group
© 2020. All rights reserved, Schuitema Group.

Schuitema Group

Contact Us: +27 (0) 11 867 0587 | info@schuitemagroup.com
  • MY CART
    No products in cart.
  • What We Do
    • Leadership Excellence
    • Team Excellence
    • Personal Excellence
    • Diagnostics
    • Etsko Speaker
  • Who We Are
    • Our Team
    • Intent Thematic
    • Care and Growth
    • Accreditations
  • Who We Work With
  • Countries
    • Sweden
  • Calendar
  • Events
  • Shop
    • Webinar Tickets
    • Book Sales
  • News
    • Overview
    • Articles
    • Case Studies
    • Videos
    • Podcasts
  • Contact us
Why do some people mature better than others
Avatar
Schuitema Admin
Tue, 18 Aug 2020 / Published in Articles, Personal Excellence

Why Do Some People Mature Better than Others

Have you ever wondered why do some people mature better than others? Some people become really refined and impressive as they get older, and some people never seem to change for the better.

Recently, I was busy sorting out a storage room of mine. I go through cardboard boxes and decide what to give to others, what to keep, what to throw away. It is both tiring and energizing, I am sure you know what it is like. Suddenly, yesterday, I came across a 20-year-old picture of a person I have now known for such a long time and it was almost shocking to see this picture. I mean, it was obvious it was him, but yet it was like another person. The person looking at me from the picture looked so much…softer. Like someone looking forward to something and enjoying life. What happened? How did this person get the hard, stern look he has now?

It made me think of the old saying that people are like wine: how some get better with age, while others go sour. We had a discussion about how this relates to the thematic and here is the conclusion: It depends on your view of time, if it is concerned with the past or the future, and it is concerned with your intent.

Our intent passes four main stages in our life time:

  1. I am here to get – the intent of the infant. – This is the starting point, at birth. All that I will still get is still in store for me. As soon as I blink, my parents are there at my service. The people around me work very hard to make sure that all my needs are looked after.
  2. I give to get – the intent of the child and adolescent. – I have realized that if I do not give (as in behave nicely, smile at people, agree to some stuff…), I will also not get what I want. When I give – still with the intent to get, like an investment.
  3. I get to give – the intent of the provider. – I work to get money so that I can provide for my family. My purpose at this stage of life is to be there for my children (or others I provide for), to see to that there is food on the table, money for the mortgage and so on. I am busy getting, but with the intent to give, to provide.
  4. I am here to give – the intent of the mature person. – I have come to realize that I have been given so much in life and I just want to…give. The giving is unconditional and comes from gratitude. Some people do not grow to this stage during their lifetime. Instead, they continue to feel entitled and resentful, concerned with getting and accumulating wealth. They will then arrive at this point anyway, at their moment of death. Everything will then be taken from them unconditionally – you cannot take gold or money with you.

If you in your life focus on getting as much as possible in different aspects (money, contacts, career, reputation…), then your life is all about accumulating. Your reference point will be birth, the point at which you start accumulating. With time you get further and further away from that place in time. One of the first consequences of this is that you have a receding view of time. Your view of your own life is one of running out of time.

Perhaps the most problematic consequence of the focus on getting is that it stunts your maturation as a person. Whilst you are still busy accumulating, getting, you do not mature into unconditional giving with age. Rather, you become more like a bloated person, who has eaten too much. You are sitting on your wealth, guarding it and trying to add to it. Sadly, if nothing changes for you dramatically, your point of death will then be difficult. People who are stuck in the intent to get therefore tend to find death scary.

If you on the other hand put your attention on your contribution, you mature as a person over time. You get closer and closer to the absolute unconditional giving of death and it will feel more and more relevant and natural for you to give. Therefore you become softer in nature. You clearly see that you have been given vastly more than you could ever have asked for and that brings to you a feeling of gratitude, which feeds your generosity. It also gives you a feeling of trust, as you can also clearly see that things have worked out in your favour in life. This is actually true regardless of what has happened to you, since you are alive and can count your blessings. You are therefore able to trust that the future will also be good to you and you do not have to fear death.

To me, this all makes sense. I can now see what has happened to the person in the 20-year-old picture. And I can understand his fear that his life is running out. No wonder he has become hard.

If you want to read further on this topic, I recommend reading The Two Sandals.

Please feel free to engage with my thoughts in the comments below. If you want to engage further on this topic, please check out our LinkedIn Group

About the author

Avatar

Schuitema Admin

See author's posts

Share This Article

What you can read next

how to influence people
How to Influence People Using the SCARF Model
Have We Been Thinking about Labour All Wrong?
Leading Remotely
Leading Remotely: 8 Factors You Should Consider

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Basket

Categories

  • Latest Articles
  • Business Excellence
  • Leadership Excellence
  • Team Excellence
  • Personal Excellence
  • Case Studies
  • Events

Recent Posts

  • Improve your Self-Guidance in the Workplace

    To find energy and self-guidance in these chall...
  • Are Your Values Carried Out Everyday?

    Anyone involved with a big corporation or organ...
  • Overcoming Difficulty with Self-Awareness

    Self-awareness is having conscious knowledge of...
  • Personal Development through Care & Growth

    Personal development is a tricky thing when you...
  • My introduction to Care & Growth

    “This was only the start of my journey wi...

Archives

  • Feb 2021
  • Jan 2021
  • Dec 2020
  • Nov 2020
  • Oct 2020
  • Sep 2020
  • Aug 2020
  • Jul 2020
  • Jun 2020
  • May 2020
  • Apr 2020
  • Mar 2020
  • Feb 2020
  • Jan 2020
  • Nov 2019
  • Oct 2019
  • Sep 2019
  • Aug 2019
  • Jul 2019
  • Jun 2019
  • May 2019
  • Apr 2019
  • Mar 2019
  • Feb 2019
  • Jan 2019
  • Dec 2018
  • Nov 2018
  • Sep 2018
  • Jul 2018

 

 

Africa
Phone: +27 (0) 11 867 0587
Asia
Phone: +92 42 3570 1456
Europe
Phone: +46 73 043 56 82
North America
Phone: +1 437 238 7835

Schuitema is a SETA accredited
and Level 2 B-BBEE recognised supplier.

Schuitema - PAIA Manual 2020
Return And Refund Policy - Terms And Conditions

Subscribe and get inspiring articles, useful resources and more right to your inbox!
Recent Articles

  • Improve your Self-Guidance in the Workplace

  • Are Your Values Carried Out Everyday?

  • Overcoming Difficulty with Self-Awareness

  • Personal Development through Care & Growth

  • My introduction to Care & Growth

  • What’s the First Step to Self-Empowerment?

Need more information?
Sign up to our Newsletter
TOP