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Character, Care and Growth!
by Etsko Schuitema
In isiXhosa, umntu onesimilo esihle; in Khoekhoegowab, ǃGâi Khoe-i. Both describe a good person – a person of good character. Good character can be understood as a collection of virtues: honesty, courage, generosity, patience, integrity and reliability. But these qualities are better understood as manifestations of character rather than its root. Character is fundamentally about the degree to which you have become capable of consistently doing what is ‘right’ rather than what is expedient. Expediency refers back to the self. It asks what will work for me, protect me, advantage me, make me comfortable or secure the outcome I want? What is right is determined by a very different criterion.
It asks what is due from me in this situation, irrespective of whether giving what is due happens to suit me (or not). Good character therefore develops as you become increasingly capable of acting beyond the transaction (what’s in it for me). You cease to make your conduct conditional on what you are going to get in return and increasingly act on the basis of what you should or can give.
This places character at the heart of Care and Growth.
Because, genuine care is also necessarily beyond the transaction. If I care for you because I want something from you, then strictly speaking I do not care for you. I am making an investment in you. My apparent generosity has a price attached to it. I will support you provided that you perform for me; listen to you provided that this makes you more productive; develop you because your increased capability serves my objectives; and treat you well because I expect your loyalty in return. All of these things may look like care from the outside, but the intent behind them remains essentially transactional. Genuine care begins when my concern is actually for you, when I am prepared to do what is right for you whether or not there is an immediate advantage in it for me. This is why Care and Growth is inseparable from character.
It is relatively easy to behave well towards another person when doing so is convenient. The test of both character and care comes when doing what is right costs you something. Someone may require your time when you are busy, your patience when you are frustrated, your protection when protecting them exposes you, or your honesty when telling the truth risks their displeasure. Equally, what is right for them may not be what they want from you. A subordinate who has failed may want to be excused, somebody who has become dependent on you may want continued support, and somebody behaving destructively may want you to remain silent. In these circumstances genuine care may require courage rather than generosity. You may have to confront, refuse, withdraw support or hold somebody accountable. The criterion is neither being nice nor being tough. The criterion is what is right for the other person, and character is what enables you to remain faithful to that criterion when expediency invites you to do otherwise.
Growth follows precisely the same logic. To grow another person is to enable that person to become increasingly capable of making a contribution. This frequently requires the leader to act against what is immediately expedient. It may be quicker to do the job yourself than to teach somebody else how to do it. It may feel safer to retain control than to entrust an important task to someone who still has things to learn. It may be more comfortable to tolerate mediocre performance than to have a difficult conversation about what needs to improve. The leader who genuinely intends the growth of another is prepared to incur these costs because the reference point is not the leader’s convenience but the other person’s capability. Ultimately, successful growth makes the subordinate less dependent on the leader, not more. The leader progressively gives away knowledge, skill, authority and control because the purpose is not to remain indispensable but to enable another person to stand increasingly on their own feet. This also explains the relationship between Care and Growth and power. Care and Growth is not about the appropriate use of power. Rather, power is the product of Care and Growth because Care and Growth is what makes power legitimate.
Formal authority may give a leader the right to issue instructions, but it cannot compel another person’s willingness. People grant willingness to those whom they trust, and they trust people whose intent they experience as benevolent. When I become convinced that you genuinely care about my wellbeing and are committed to enabling me to grow, I become increasingly willing to place myself in your hands. I grant you influence over me precisely because I no longer experience your authority as being primarily exercised for your own benefit. Legitimacy therefore precedes genuine power, and legitimacy is earned through the consistent experience of Care and Growth. There is consequently a reciprocal relationship between character and Care and Growth. Character enables Care and Growth because genuine care repeatedly requires you to transcend expediency and do what is right. But practising Care and Growth also develops character because leadership continually presents you with situations in which you have to choose between your immediate interests and what is due from you. Every time you choose what is right over what is expedient, you strengthen the disposition to do so again.
What initially requires conscious effort gradually becomes characteristic of you. In this sense character is not something you possess before you lead. It is something that is forged in the act of genuinely caring for and growing others.
Want to learn more about Character, Care and Growth? Learn how to lead your team with greater purpose, strengthen organisational culture, and unlock potential? See: www.schuitemagroup.com
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